4 Things I Learned About Life After Graduating
Article written by Sarah Micho
Graduations are a natural part of life. We learn, grow and evolve onto the next stages – from kindergarten to elementary, high school and beyond. After graduating university, I felt overwhelmed, faced with important life decisions of charting a successful future for myself. After years of studying, entering the “real world” was daunting – I didn’t know how to provide for myself, pick a career path that aligned with my passions and which city to settle in to start my career. Fundamentally, the questions boiled down to – ‘How did I know I'm making the right choices for myself?’. Throughout my own personal process I realized, we may never know, but with intention, action and community – the possibilities of our lives are bountiful and that is more than enough. Leaving the comfort of school to craft your next step can be life affirming – if you welcome the journey with open arms. Here are four things I’ve learned about life since graduating from university.
1. Informational Interviews can do the heavy lifting for you
An informational interview is an informal conversation with a professional to find out more about their career. They can take place in a café, over Zoom or at an impromptu encounter in public – the point becomes about being exposed to the knowledge of individuals living the life you potentially want, offering realistic insight into any aspect you’re curious about. The best place to begin building the fundamental blocks of your career and life after graduating is having an example to motivate and inspire our next steps. I first learned about informational interviews from a friend who was interested in working for PR fashion agencies and began emailing PR agencies to request meetings with industry professionals. At the time, I had no idea that this was even an option that one could do to benefit themselves in the future. Watching my friend pursue her ambitions head on, inspired me to do the same. Career exploration takes many forms, but I’ve found that the key takeaway is learning from our failures to gain valuable knowledge prior to choosing a future career field.
I began to use my digital resources to my advantage. In the age of the Internet, information is more accessible than ever – but knowing how to use it wisely is the key. I began using LinkedIn to send connections requests and messages to professionals with work experience I admired, was curious about or wanted to attain myself. The professionals I came across worked in a wide range of industries from fashion to journalism, to media, business, and communications. I knew I had many interests and decided not to limit my scope. This career search equipped me with confidence and knowledge where I began using LinkedIn, direct emailing and job applications to define what exactly I wanted to do and who could help me get there. If the person I talked to was unable to offer a direct path forward, they often referred me to someone else who was equipped to do so. I was able to translate many digital encounters to several in person meetings, sometimes followed by sending my CV after discussions. I found myself encouraged by the willingness and kindness of complete strangers around the world who took time out of their day to offer advice about their journeys.
2. Authenticity will always be your best asset
The phrase, ‘be yourself’ may come off as gimmicky and insincere. We live in societies, families and communities that can make the work of discovering who we are, feel like an impossible task and burden. In spite of the cliché, coming into yourself is a lifelong process that cannot be realized in a day but rather evolves over a lifetime.
In life we experience many moments of truth – after we graduate high school, getting our first full-time job, moving away from our hometowns, our first relationship, etc. These moments of truth make up the building blocks of our personal desires and professional goals.
As a dark skin Black woman who grew up in predominantly white spaces, I wasn’t always welcome to show up as my full self everywhere in society. I had to fight to create my space in the world because the skin I’m in deeply influences how I’m treated and the spaces I’m able to occupy. From childhood, I had always nurtured an adventurous spirit, eager to learn and try new things and a love for diversity as a way of life. However, I had to learn to survive through code-switching and manipulating my body to fit my constraining environments. Post-graduation, I took a step back to consider two things, ‘Where do I want to live? and What makes a good life?’ I knew I needed to push the boundaries of my limited environment to fully realize my ambitions. So, during my final year of university, I planned a move abroad to a major city that offered diversity, opportunity and a new way of life.
The process has since taught me invaluable life lessons and finally allowed me to exhale. I discovered the true power of leaving your comfort zone and what that can do to unlock your true self. The daunting process of bringing my true inner self to the surface, that was unable to thrive in my previous environment, resulted in moving from the uncomfortable growing pain stage to the ‘I can do this’ stage.
3. Nurture weak ties
Life after university happens at a time when we end our formal adolescence and begin to shape our twentysomethings selves. In her New York Times Bestselling Book, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now, clinical psychologist Dr. Meg Jay, makes the case for nurturing weak ties. Weak ties are, “the people we have met, or are connected to somehow, but do not currently know well,” Jay writes, people like our coworkers or neighbors we rarely talk to, former teachers and former classmates. Weak ties are important because they “force us to communicate from a place of difference,” says Jay, which ultimately leads us to challenge ingrained assumptions about the world to assess new opportunities using the networks we have already established.
If you think of a network as a series of links organized in relation a common central point – you are the central point – and every person you’ve met and formed a relational connection with is an untapped connection waiting to be strengthened as a necessary steppingstone to, “promot[ing], and sometimes even force, thoughtful growth and change” as Jay notes in her book. Connecting with our weak ties can make the world’s difference, directing us onto a path we never thought possible but needed just the right push to access. It can make the difference between a new opportunity in the form of a job, an event invite or acquiring a new vital skill vs. sitting at home and allowing self-doubting thoughts to overwhelm and hamper our progress.
4. Purpose doesn’t Expire
Embracing the fear, confusion and anxiety of creating the life we truly want is a terrifying process. Though self-actualization is at the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it is the step many of us will spend most of our lives hesitant and resistant towards. Author, Steven Pressfield addresses this issue directly in his book, The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle. In his book, Pressfield pinpoints a phenomenon he coined as, ‘Resistance’, a human force that resides in every individual that we must overcome in order to sustain any creative project. Whether we yearn to become novelists, artists, star athletes, lawyers, start a business, travel the world or dedicate ourselves to a noble cause – the force of ‘Resistance’- often stands in our way. This force is always present to incite fear, doubt, shame, discomfort or distraction when the moment arises to do the actual work. Pressfield states that, “Fear doesn't go away. The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.” As humans, it is a proven fact that we tend to lean towards comfort and stability. However, it is only by surpassing that initial ‘Resistance’ stage that locks us into an inertia, can we then access the renewed strength that comes from executing daily tangible steps towards creating the life we want. No matter what life situation we find ourselves in, this struggle will present itself.
Admittedly, I experienced ‘Resistance’ while attempting to write this piece. I felt doubtful and inexperienced to express my personal opinions about life post-university when I’m still finding myself. I felt unqualified to position myself as an expert and the mindset of inadequacy set in. Feeling incapable is a very normal thought process that happens when confronted with challenges and circumstances that at face value appear insurmountable. Much of this ‘Resistance’ stems from our minds living in societies where we can easily fall prey to the trappings of hyper-consumerism, complaining and distraction from achieving our full potential. I realize that the things I’m meant to do often feel high pressure and intangible because delaying actionable efforts and adopting the ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ mentality as a familiar pattern.
Purpose uncovers itself through a series of experiences and it’s important to remain mindful that the initial desire to create our lives never disappears, it simply transforms. So, the question becomes – what can I do now to ensure that I am nurturing my purpose? Recognize that change is the only constant and when ‘Resistance’ arises, take a deep breath, and remember that the transformation we are looking for is in the work we must do.
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About the Author
Sarah Micho is a Black Canadian journalist, writer and creative storyteller. Via the medium of words, fashion and design, her modus operandi is ‘diversity as a way of life’, a motto infused into every facet of her work. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in English and relocated to Paris, France last year to utilize her passion for writing, fashion, culture and design to expand her creative universe in what she can be, have or do in her life.
Visit her website